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I find I vacillate between total vulnerability and being an open book or more closed and obscured about my personal life. Sometimes I find it hard to know what the situation calls for.
Glad you found some inspiration and could connect some dots for yourself. Let me tell you some more about my journey.
Scaling down my practice was first brought on by lock down and then my personal anxiety about returning to work. Right when I was revving back up to full practice, the universe decided for me that that would not be the case. My appendix ruptured requiring an emergency appendectomy. My resiliency worked against me in that situation as I had waited 9 days to go to the hospital. I felt quite fine (worked, went for hikes etc) until I spiked a fever and the pain got worse. Recovery was slow since my body really did not like that intervention even though it was life saving.
As I was working through that, my mom got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Just as my baseline physical health returned, I flew across the country to go be with her and to spend her final weeks caring for her at home. While grateful that I have some training in that arena, it was hard and yes, this was all during the pandemic which made everything that much harder.
I was burnt out when I returned and was supported to be gentle with myself so I have kept half to 3/4 client load ever since. I began opening back up to my full work load but between weather (snow storms tend to shut our city down) and illness, it was not meant to be. Right now, I am at home recovering from (what is probably) covid (I get tested tomorrow) even though I am double vaxxed (realize that means little in times of omi). In the last two years, my work has been brought to a full stop 4 times. Very little, if any of it, has been in my control. So it makes me shake my head, laugh a bit and really want to think on it (although not too hard cause answers are unlikely). Thank you all for listening and being part of this amazing group.