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Yes, dear Anita, I am in total agreement with Benjamin here! You have elegantly distilled your prima materia into a potent commitment to transformation, a kind of soul affirmation that will keep you on track and focused for the year. Bravo!
I also appreciate the caveat: (It may take awhile …. 😉) That too is very wise, very alchemical. As I often say, alchemy is not a quick fix. “Alchemy takes time like love takes time.” We are transforming old, deeply ingrained psychological and neurological patterns.
And yet, “seeing / recognizing” the pattern is the initiating catalyst for the work. Being able to put that seeing into words is the next. So, you are well underway!
I would also add here that in the short time I’ve known you, I feel that you have already taken good steps towards shifting this pattern. Signing up for the mentorship in itself was a big leap in the direction of “your inner 🌟 courage to radiate your light.” Also, you have been taking risks to ask big questions and share your insights. So what’s next?
As I have said, and will say many times again through the course of the year, alchemy is a practice, an accumulation of small, devoted, embodied actions performed regularly over time. I am wondering if we could come up with one small step towards transforming this pattern that you would feel comfortable committing to this spring.One possibility that come to me:
Find a song or a chant that you love and make a time every day to sound it out loud. If there is a place where you feel safe to make a full, embodied sound – either in nature or in a secluded meditation space in your home – that would be ideal. This could be as brief as 3-5 minutes a day. The important thing is to do it regularly over time.
The chant could be from your own ancestral tradition or another. Or a simple song like The River is Flowing by Gila Anderson (see link below). You can listen to the song / chant on recording and sing along or, if you know it well enough, go for it on your own!