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Taking in your writing, Stephanie, and digesting it bit by bit. I am particularly struck by the refinement of your Prima Materia when you write:
“While initially believed anger to be at the heart of my Prima Materia, I realize that it actually arises from the burnout and anxiety I feel from having to constantly prove my worth.”
I am immediately curious about the relationship between Metal and Wood in your energetic pattern. Wondering how / why the legacy of the grandparent (Metal) – the sense of your own intrinsic preciousness, your capacity for surrender and your ability to feel the sacredness of each moment – is not reaching the grandchild (Wood) – resulting in this hyperactivity, lack of ease, anxiety, self-doubt and when your are in burnout, an obsession with injustice (all signs of a stressed, under-nourished Wood).
So, as you say, this is a powerful start for your work, particularly when viewed alongside the astrological insights which you already shared.
How can you move beyond the impasse of anxiety, anger, punishing hyper-activity as a defense again an underlying sense of “not being enough”?
The first step that comes to me would be to connect the flow of qi between Metal and Wood and also to gently and consistently care for the Wood (particularly the Liver Official).
I will be discussing the Wood Element on our next weekend in April so there may be more insights for your there. But for now, here are a few suggestions:
- Support the Metal as Grandparent through gentle breath work. As little as five minutes in the morning, sitting in a quiet place, keeping awareness on your inhalations and exhalations. Stay present to the breath going in and out through your nostrils. It can be helpful to say to yourself, “Breathing In” on the inhalation. “Breathing Out” on the exhalation. Do this without pushing … that is why it is good to start with only five minutes rather than any heroic half hour sit. Use a timer or a meditation app. The important thing is to do it regularly, each day for five minutes. This practice will bring qi to the Metal Element and also harmonizing your nervous system.
- As we are moving into Spring and Wood Season, I would suggest eating lots of bitter greens, kale, collards, dandelion. And drinking a gentle liver tonic tea like dandelion or taking a few drops of milk thistle tincture in water.
- Also, I will be discussing Bergamot Essential Oil on the upcoming weekend. I think this would be a good oil for you to apply – a small drop to Liver 3 and Liver 14 – every other day for a week and after application, take a little time to absorb the effects, repeating an affirmation … perhaps something like: “I am in free and easy flow.” See how your feel with that … skip a week and then do it again … for three to four cycles.
I am going to add a source for Bergamot below. Keep us posted as you work with all this and thank you for the share!