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Ellen … I appreciate getting to know you through your writing here on the Prima Materia thread and I look forward to supporting you in discovering the gold in the this “fear that people won’t see who I really am” – this piece of lead that you have described. Certainly, in deciding to participate in the mentorship group, you have put yourself in a perfect laboratory / vessel to do this work.
From what you describe, I have the sense that you are coming out of a time of isolation – not only from others but also from your own eros and fully vibrant embodied life force. Your discovery of Taoist alchemical practices, particularly in working with our own sexual energies and essences feels like an important piece of your inner work.
I hope that some of the embodiment practices we explore this year will support you in taking all of this deeper. I also encourage you to use your small group as well as our time in the larger group vessel to go to your edges around visibility and trust. Go slow and listen to your body. And see what emerges.
And I love the song you posted … a wonderful reminder for us all at this challenging, crisis time on our planet. Despite the chaos, violence and insanity irrupting all around us, we can continue to look for – and cultivate – the good that shines forth from all around and also within us.