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Coming out of the loneliness is a big step, Cara, and I want to acknowledge your courage in taking the risk to share your inner work with us, especially given your early experiences of abandonment and aloneness as a child. The attacking inner voices you describe often accompany the experience of abandonment. They can even sometimes become a kind of substitute companion that, while terribly painful and sabotaging, is also familiar, habitual, even addictive in their own way. I get that you are ready to let go of, or at least begin to transform, your relationship to the critical tyrants who have taken up residence in your psyche. This is potent alchemical work, a real transformation of lead into gold, as the psychic energy that is tied up in the complex becomes released and available for your creativity, relationality and healing.
Good work in identifying and being able to name the feeling in your stomach. This is the first step in being able to work with it, in being able to unpack and release the ancestral ties that hold you back and open to the flow of the life force and support that is all around and within you.
I’d like to invite you to be in the mentorship in a different way! Allow yourself to lean back, even be a bit lazy, let the poetry, the images, the concepts, roll over you, nourish you, lead you like a river in the direction of your own flow. The biggest piece of work you can do here is to go at your own pace, follow up on what delights you, engage with others in ways that feel nourishing and trust that the alchemy is already underway. Which, clearly, it is!
🌟❤️