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A bow of gratitude to you, Benjamin, for taking the time to receive and reflect on my post. During the meditation it felt like so much of what we’ve been working on collectively and individually was coming to the forefront, enveloping me in a cocoon of dark swirly dissolution yet giving me a clear line of sight to what is true and worthwhile. This mentorship has been helping me do the same thing — to be in the cocoon but also aware of the transformation happening, a witness to myself, shedding and stretching and doing the slow steady work.
Integration has been good, overall. I was only gone one night and returned the next day to a houseful of people (we had guests staying with us) so it was important to carve out quiet time to write and reflect. In my primary relationship I have definitely felt an opening, a willingness to be seen and heard and to ask for what I need, even when I don’t know what the answer will be. It is a practice. Sometimes I have to push the words out of my mouth. In other relationships it’s a little easier, simply sharing my experience helps shift the energy and everyone has been incredibly receptive. The one group I have not ventured into sharing with is my family of origin. I’m not sure how they would receive any of it.
I am really curious to dig into my chart with you and to hear more about Pluto opposing my South Node. As a child I remember doing a lot of hiding, of my body and my emotions. As an adult I thought it was because my parents weren’t nurturing enough, but what you say sounds true too — that I came into this world with a sense of fear, a need to protect myself. In any case it does seem promising that I’m orienting away from Aries in the S. Node towards Libra in the N. Node!
I did sign up for Jonathan’s class and am excited to learn more. Serendipity!