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Dear Amy – you close with “All my love,” and I want to say that I really do feel the love in your share. Thank you for taking the time to write and post. I’m touched by the tale of the Golden Buddha and the way it is moving in you.
I will read your entire post again, but I am feeling some synchronicity in its arriving now, as I come to it directly following an intense session with a healer I’ve been working with for many months, and so want to respond while my feelings are fresh
In this session, I got in touch with a fluid column running through the center of my body. The column is steady, it is unwavering, even in the midst of what can feel like the chaotic storm of life. It stands for who I am and what I need and want. I’ve not known this internal resource for most of my life, and yet the work I’m doing now is offering me access to it.
<font face=”inherit”>I commented in my session that I don’t understand how this change has been made possible. I know it has something to do with the work I’ve been doing, but the actual mechanism of where the change arises from is a mystery to me. It is as if the mud is being chipped away revealing what was there all along. The chipping away process is not comfortable. It’s often scary. But having glimpsed the gold underneath the mud, there is no stopping. </font>
<font face=”inherit”>“They hid the </font>statue<font face=”inherit”> because it wasn’t safe. It need to be protected.” What I’m taking from this tale is that all of the ways we learn to cope, to find safety in the face of conditions that feel threatening, this is the mud we layer over our original nature. As we do the work of healing, of bearing the pain and discomfort that accompanies dismantling those early coping strategies, a new organization becomes possible. That is the gold. </font>
<font face=”inherit”>This … </font>
The light of awareness is trickling in and showing me that I’m not an acupuncturist in a barn. It’s too small for me and that’s why it hasn’t been clicking.
How miraculous that you can come to this awareness, that you have given yourself the time and space you needed to be in hiding, to descend. And that now the kairos is right for the mud to begin flaking away. May it continue to fall away at the pace that feels right for you. I hope it can eventually come off in big chunks, but regardless, I can hear in the quoted words above that your gold is shining through. I look forward to witnessing how your process continues from here.