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Rebecca,
As I sit with this latest response from you, and revisit your initial Prima Materia document, what comes up for me is the profundity of your having taken the time and made the effort to share your process. I mean, it seems like a relatively small thing, but it really isn’t. It’s a testimony to your commitment to yourself that you invited our relatedness. To step out of being alone with your feelings in response to standing up for yourself, setting a boundary … that’s a radical act for any of us.
When I think about suicide, or as I reflect on the mass murders that keep happening in our country with deeply disturbing frequency, I have to imagine the degree of inconsolable isolation your grandmother must have felt, your brother, your sister, those wielding the guns that take the lives of others. Within that isolation, our demons can and do get the upper hand.
I’m grateful to you for giving us the opportunity to see you and to offer what “reparenting” we could. Feeling a connection to you in that heart space moves me to tears, too, and I know this is the essence of what we are doing for one another with alchemical healing.
And just for perspective, I want to reflect that I never felt you complaining or stirring up drama. What you described felt real, rooted in the daily experience of your life. Learning how to navigate these encounters skillfully, with compassion yet firmness, is real work. It makes sense that we would support one another. And it makes me happy to know that you and Lauren have the embodied connection that you do.
So, a deep bow, in return, to you for opening up your throat and using your voice. Brava!
With love,
Benjamin