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You are stardust and so is your son. I associate to when my first born could not nurse properly. He would not latch on, despite the support of lactation consultants and all of my best efforts. My subsequent two children were champion nursers without any coaching whatsoever. They were both very cuddly and my eldest did not like to cuddle, but felt comforted by being placed in his car seat. Today at 26 he hugs with a very abrupt quick squeeze where as the two younger give big warm lingering bear hugs. I remember another mother reassuring me in my distress about my first born’s difficulties with nursing, that this was just the beginning of our relationship, that there was so much to come. That was helpful to me to have that perspective. I think I am saying all of this to you to remind you to, as much as possible, to not take his out of control behavior personally, that he has his own constitution and karma. It’s so hard as a mother not to blame oneself for our kids’ challenges. The other piece is to zoom out, and have the birds eye view of the long relationship that you will have with him, that this is a moment in time, and that things change. Mothering is such a big job and not for the faint hearted. I hear how hard it is now, and am sending love and blessings to you and him.