[Vicki Rivard]

Thank you, Benjamin. Love Lies Bleeding sounds BEAUTIFUL (I love the mention of hospice work.) I will explore this one further.

[Vicki Rivard]

This is an incredible thread. Thank you, Ellen, for bringing in this extremely potent topic. And thank you Karla, Lorie, and Benjamin for your always-enlightening perspectives!

I, too, struggle SO MUCH with the money thing. I have often said, out loud: “I hate money.” I hate how it corrupts people, governments, businesses, the media, entire industries (the medical industry, in particular). I hate how, in the end-of-life world, those with money receive more dignified care than those without (truly heartbreaking). I hate how I have to ask for money, for the services I offer! I wish I could offer them for free, to those who need them most.

Recently, I realized that saying “I hate money” was NOT serving me at ALL. I am definitely NOT attracting financial stability by thinking/believing/saying that “I hate money.” So, I am now working on changing my perception of money and my relationship to it. (I believe this is Taurus energy, which is Earth energy, which is the element I struggle with the most. Oy.)

These days, with the price of food and gas at an all-time high (in Ontario, the prices are INSANE), my husband and I have been forced to make some tough decisions (ie. cancelling a trip planned for August) but isn’t this a PERFECT opportunity to “take every transaction as sacred?” To REALLY figure out what we need/what we don’t need to spend money on? To find bartering partners in the community? To learn how to bake sourdough bread and can veggies (two things I’ve wanted to learn for a long time)? Life presents us with opportunities and we just have to recognize them and, then, seize them!

In this current Earth, money has gone “as far as it can go.” I mean, how many zeros can you add after a number before those zeros become meaningless? But, I believe that in the New Earth that we are building, money can, indeed, be transformed into something beautiful. I don’t know the “how” of this, but I can feel that possibility in my heart.

[Vicki Rivard]

Hello! It’s been awhile…!

My little family and I were cabin camping this week and the opportunity presented itself (and the moment felt right) for the first part of my Prima Materia ritual: the burning of the old.

I wrote a note that read:

The deeply-held belief that speaking my truth is dangerous, as it may lead to rejection, which threatens my survival no longer serves my growth, nor my peace.

I burn this belief in the sacred fire and make space, in my heart and life, for newness to be born.

*

Simple, but powerful.

We watched the note burn and then made s’mores and told scary/funny stories and I felt enveloped by the love of my family and excited (for the first time in a long time) about what’s to come—in my life and in this world. What a time to be alive!

*

I originally wanted to include Earth in the ritual (ie. the planting of the new) and thought spring would be a great time for that. However, this spring has (strangely) not felt like the right time at all.

So, I am waiting for Earth season. Earth is the element I have the most challenging relationship with, and I think it is time for Earth and I to transform and redefine our story. I may plant something in the late-summer—which (also, strangely) does not feel counter-intuitive, but absolutely perfect.

What an interesting journey I am/we are on…! I LOVE living an elemental life. <3

[Vicki Rivard]

Burn, baby, burn.

[Vicki Rivard]

Never mind! The course notes were just uploaded, so I have my answer. Rose it is! 🙂

[Vicki Rivard]

Oh my goodness, Babbie! What a piece of paradise you are blessed to co-exist with! Thank you for sharing it with us.

I would LOVE to experience Healing Seeds Farm in person someday. Let us hold that vision together.

[Vicki Rivard]

Dear Benjamin,

Adding my voice to the chorus here, in thanking you for sharing of yourself so vulnerably and courageously.

There is so much soul comfort that comes from witnessing another’s sharing and from seeing our own themes and patterns show up in another’s story—it leads to instantly feeling less alone in the world (and I felt that, while reading this).

I think it is incredible—and it deserves mention and celebration—that the lead of your embodied experience has led to the gold of THIS. THIS community. THIS level of work. THIS type of leadership. THIS collective dreaming of “a new possibility.” THIS beam of hope amidst the growing rubble.

It feels like divine timing, for me, to be here, right now. I am certain that many others in the group feel the same way. As the foundation continues to crack beneath our feet, here we are, in a place that is allowing us to dream of a better way—and not only to dream of it, but to plant ourselves into the dark soil of the soul and to CREATE IT, with your and Lorie’s special kind of magical and wise guidance.

I am in awe, and deeply grateful.

I honour your continued journey in recognizing your signals and tending to your boundaries (so hard) and to knowing what you want and asking for it (SO HARD). And I join you in this lifelong search for a deeper spiritual understanding of life (and death, and life again).

Thank you, Benjamin. I look forward to this weekend.

[Vicki Rivard]

Dear Cara,

Hi again. I literally just replied to your Prima Materia post, then opened the book I’m currently reading and these words jumped out at me, almost as if they were asking to be shared with you. Here they are:

“Learning how to be loved, even by yourself, can be exhausting and sometimes even feel fake. You may succumb to the urge to hide, or eat junk, or do things you know are bad for you. But this is always a call for love.

It is in these fallow times, when our efforts feel forced and there’s no momentum with our progress, that we must aspire to love ourselves more generously. It is up to you to name your orphan’s secret beauty and lure it out of hiding.

Shame, when it is welcomed, allows dignity to emerge; betrayal’s hidden medicine is true loyalty; isolation hides a longing for intimacy, and so on. If we take the foundational idea that there’s a redemptive quality behind the darker, edgy, difficult emotions and experiences, then we are well on our way to making our house into a home.”

From the book Belonging by Toko-Pa Turner (page 126).

(When Toko-Pa writes about “the orphan,” she is writing about the version of ourselves that is estranged from our Wholeness.)

[Vicki Rivard]

Dear Cara,

Here you are. 🙂

I want to say that I see you and the monumental effort it has taken to share yourself so openly and courageously here.

Shame is a heavy darkness that so many of us carry—and expressing it is the first (incredible) step towards unshackling ourselves from it.

The roles we play are, at times, necessary (or perceived as necessary) for our survival until one day (maybe today) we realize they are no longer useful—and that’s when the journey back to Truth begins.

I have found the tools presented in Lorie and Benjamin’s teachings and books to be incredibly effective in helping us tap into Soul (ours and everybody else’s). As we remember Soul, we no longer care so much about Role(s), and isn’t that the ultimate magic?!

The sharp, cramping, burning sensation in your stomach area makes me want to ask the following question: What life experience are you having trouble “stomaching”? Is it the reliance on alcohol/cannabis and the shame around that? Is it many things all at once?

I think a curious and tender exploration of this “burning stomach” might lead you somewhere important—and might present you with new ideas of how to digest/assimilate/eliminate what needs to be fully felt, and then released.

I celebrate your alchemical adventure, Cara, and I am deep in it with you!

Thank you.

[Vicki Rivard]

“What is freedom and how can I live it?” Wow.

Thank you, Daniel, for putting this question into words. I believe that this is the question that sits/throbs/aches/yearns/bleeds/sings at the heart of all other questions.

I hope—if it feels safe and right—that you will share your answers, as you uncover them.

The time is ripe for this inquiry—this inquiry that feels like a deep dive into Soul.

Thank you.

[Vicki Rivard]

Hi Benjamin!

May I please have March 31st as my deadline as well? We have been knee-deep in my son’s hockey season here—practically living at the rink!—and, though I have been befriending my chosen spirit point for months, I would appreciate some extra time to properly gather my thoughts and complete the assignment. Thank you.

[Vicki Rivard]

Dear Lorie,

Hi! I’d like to update you on my experience with Cerato.

In short: WOW WOW WOW!

I already shared this story with my small group, but have decided to share it here too.

I have always been a big believer in magic while, at the same time, doubting the effectiveness of flower essences. I had not personally experienced their power before and, as such, had never felt comfortable recommending them to others.

Well… that has now changed forever!

I have been taking Cerato for longer than a moon cycle and, a few weeks ago, experienced something truly miraculous.

I was at my beloved Hospice, visiting colleagues and seeing how I felt there (as I am in the process of deciding whether or not to return to work in September).

While at the Hospice, two things happened that made me go: “Whoa. Cerato.”

The first: A colleague asked me a question. It was a simple question, but also a controversial one in our current intense and divisive political climate. The old me would have panicked internally and, most likely, lied/tweaked the truth. But as I stood there, faced with this question, time seemed to slow down and I literally FELT the truth travel out of my heart and up my throat. Before I even knew what was happening, my mouth was open and I answered honestly: “No.”

No.

No is a complete sentence. No is a POWERFUL word. No was the truest and clearest thing I could have said in that moment—and I said it. And I felt strong saying it. My voice did not shake. My mind did not race. My feet felt firmly planted on Earth and my truth felt ALIVE and FREE. That sense of freedom reverberated through my entire body and made me feel light (light as in illuminated; light as in less heavy).

The second: During a meeting with a colleague who recently did something that made me feel both sad and betrayed, I was able to calmly and kindly express to her those feelings of sadness and betrayal. I had NOT planned on doing this! Again, it was like the truth literally climbed out of my heart, flew up my throat, and opened my mouth in order to be gently spoken. There was no stopping it! It needed to be heard (and it was beautifully received by my colleague).

It was after I left the Hospice, and was driving home, reflecting on the events of the day, that I thought: “Whoa. Cerato.”

I know that the old me would NOT have spoken truthfully in either of these situations. I would have swallowed the truth in order to be liked, and felt myself grow energetically weaker, disappointed in myself, and resentful of others.

Instead, that day, I felt strong. Amazed. Proud. Safe.

Safe.

Cerato has helped me trust and express my inner knowing and voice; it has helped me understand that it is, in fact, safe to be me.

I am so grateful (to Cerato and to YOU, for recommending it!)

My bottle of Cerato is nearly empty and I am wondering what my next flower essence should be on this journey of “courageously expressing my truth and self.”

Thank you, Lorie.

I look forward to seeing you, Benjamin, and the rest of the wizards next Sunday.

[Vicki Rivard]

Happy Birthday, dear Lorie!

I saw this today, at a magical little crystal shop in the middle of nowhere Ontario, and thought of you (without knowing it was your birthday!)

May you always remember this. <3

[Vicki Rivard]

Aw, thank you Liz.

I appreciate this message. We are in it together, sister! May the emerging energy of Spring/Wood support us on this juicy/scary/tender/joyful journey of becoming wholly ourselves. <3

[Vicki Rivard]

Dear Stephanie,

Thank you so much for this message—I am only seeing it now!

I absolutely love the slogan (and the notion): “all parts are welcome.”

As I mentioned in group, a beautiful practice space has appeared in my life and in my (limited) spare time I have been imagining decor—how can this space express the song of my heart?

One thing that keeps coming up, in my vision, is a wooden sign at the entrance stating, “All are welcome here.”

I have been thinking of this statement as applying to the humans who will enter the space, but your message makes me realize that there is a more expansive meaning to the statement.

“All are welcome here” also applies to all of the PARTS of the humans (and all of the PARTS of myself), including those that are are deemed problematic and distressful. May we tend to those parts with love and care and give them permission to transform into more effective allies on the journey. Yes, yes, yes.

Transformation is absolutely a death of sorts, but you’re right about the language. In my body, the word death triggers feelings of fear (even though I am a Death Doula and around death all the time!) whereas the word transformation triggers feelings of freedom. I will adopt this language! Thank you.

I have not done my actual ritual yet. It feels imperative that my ritual include the Earth element and Yi spirit (the ones I feel least connected to, but magnetically drawn to, right now). I want to have my feet/hands in the Earth and literally “plant something new.” So I am waiting for the ground to be fully thawed here—likely late April, early May.

However, I was at a magical little crystal shop today and there was an invitation there to, “write what you would like to release from your life, then burn it.” So, I did. (Photos attached.)

I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me, Stephanie. I look forward to continuing along this alchemical adventure with you. Hugs.