[Christine MacSween]

Rebecca,

I read your Prima Materia before sleep last night and allowed my body to integrate your words. I relate deeply to your prima materia of trusting your expression – as this is mine too. It shows up differently, but the essence is similar. Thank you for sharing your relationship of this with your family, and the family past. Your strength and vulnerability in holding these truths and yet exploring the new possibilities is breathtaking. I feel my body leaning in to listen…

[Christine MacSween]

Daniel, we are one day apart! Different year, but hello Capricorn brother!

[Christine MacSween]

Thank you both! I appreciate hearing what resonates.

[Christine MacSween]

Just awe and space for your process and awareness here, Joanne. Oh those waters of grief. No words. Just love.

[Christine MacSween]

I will also add that yes, this book already connects me to many. It has been a beacon on that solo journey that has led to widening of my network.

And your comment on planets in the second house on creating resources for self-worth does resonate. My teacher brought up once that especially with the moon, self-worth may fluctuate like the cycles of the moon. I can feel this in a sense and it always surprises me when it’s in the new moon phase. Yet, there is also that deep connection to the mother archetype here too. The more I respect the natural cycles, the more sturdy I feel in my own self-worth. I hadn’t thought of it this way before, so thank you for the spark to bring that expression out.

I would love to share some of my writing, thank you for the invitation. I’ll post it on the group discussion forum. I’ll see what wants to be shared.

[Christine MacSween]

I, too, am grateful for the shared language!

I remember reading a long article about the relationship of Pan to Capricorn, but am unsure where that was now! However, I do have Caroline Casey’s book, “Making the God’s Work for You” and love her weaving of mythology.

I opened to this page and this quote stuck out to me once again:

“In contrast, if Capricorn is free to find its own path, then it has the feisty, randy, Pan-like zest of the wild, sturdy mountain goat. The goat can climb any mountain, so one of Capricorn’s main issues is deciding which mountain to climb. Often the Capricornian experience is one of attaining the summit only to look around and say, “Oh, blast, wrong mountain.” But from the top of even the wrong summit, often the correct one is in sight. After a momentary lapse into depression and resignation, Capricorn can then turn again to delight once the proper solo journey is mapped out in its mind. Capricorn’s task is to be able to climb solitary heights where no one else can go, and to offer us a vision of what we might create together.

Casey, Caroline. Making the Gods Work for You: The Astrological Language of the Psyche (p. 48). Kindle Edition.

I related deeply to the “which mountain to climb”. But each mountain provided skills for the next. My seemingly winding, incoherent path, made/makes sense in my own body. I’m grateful my parents always encouraged me to follow whatever path, without too much questioning. But of course, they did the same in their own lives. It’s my own father’s generosity that allowed me to even be in this mentorship!

Thank you for that image of my mom’s solar light shining through my moon. I always jokingly say she’s my battery pack, but there is truth to that.

Thank you for sharing about being late bloomer – both here and on Stephanie’s Prima Materia. I also feel this is a theme that is becoming more and more recognized. The slow process of wisdom and maturity. The lengthening of the human life span and when is true “adulthood” now? I often feel I’m still in the midst of adolescence, although…I have also heard people speak of the Benjamin Button nature of Capricorn. Often as children we can seem old, serious, responsible, and the older we get, the more our child like nature comes out. I often say I’m here to Grow Down, not Up. Ha! So the image of Descending the Mountain of the Five Spirits was such a welcome visual to my Capricorn Heart! And thank you for sharing your friend’s class! I will certainly check it out.

[Christine MacSween]

Thanks Benjamin! I’m very visual and my art and photography is a way that I like to zoom in to micro patterns and feel into the macro themes.

Here is one of the poems on Eyes Bright, and Spirit Storehouse. I have a few (I have a notebook at my Dad’s place that I know the other Eyes Bright poem is in). This one was also inspired by one of the horses I love to paint, who comes alive in the snow. I felt resonance as a Capricorn/depths of winter baby.

Frolics in the snow

Some flowers bloom

in the snow

some horses find

their footing

in the cool ground

shocked with

frost and ice

crystallized water

clings to the hair

around the face.

Some flowers bloom

in the snow.

Eyes bright

in the wilderness

of frozen water

Ice

bridges

to an inner

awakening

only found in the

snow.

[Christine MacSween]

Lorie, thank you so much for your reply and weaving of wisdom and advice.

I love that you brought up both Listening Palace and Eyes Bright, as I often find myself massaging these points – one after the other. I didn’t know it was an entry/exit treatment! I have a whole poem about Eyes Bright as well. It often comes up as a writing prompt when I open Kigo.

I also love that you brought up wuwei. When I’m feeling caught in the tension and uncertain what aspect to listen to, I open Kigo to the first paragraph of Water and feel instantly at ease.

Speaking of the Pericardium, I have been learning more and more about this official – I have a long standing skin issue on my 3rd digit on my R hand. It often flares as the “doing” heats up, and I have the sensation of holding the reins too tightly (this shows up in my jaw too).

I found the Spirit Point meditation on Foot Above Tears was incredibly helpful. I watched it following submitting my Prima Materia. It was soothing to feel that strength of water beneath my feet, ready to take those next steps as they appear. Plus, as I was just in England, the snow drops were everywhere!

Thank you again. These exchanges are so nourishing and I look forward to continuing to dive deep in these alchemical realms with you and Benjamin and all here in our group!

[Christine MacSween]

Benjamin, Thank you for your reply. I’ve been reading and rereading it as well. Soaking in the recognition I feel from your words. I’ve been steeped in astrology for so long, I love a fresh perspective. I often find Capricorn descriptions come up short, but the right words at the right time sink deep. One of my favourite quotes about Capricorn is that we are “All Terrain Vehicles” We can dive to the deepest seas, and climb the highest mountains. Also our relationship to Pan often gets missed – which I’m leaving this as a reminder to myself to relook at those stories. So words, about resilience and facing obstacles alone is something I see repeated in my chart. Massive Capricorn stellium + my Aries Moon. And yet that stellium is in the 11th house. Groups such as this are always so integrative for me and the alchemy is rich.

This brings me back to my book, and the awareness that I will likely be doing much of it on my own. I keep asking myself if I’m just avoiding help, or if the adventure itself in the process is what my soul is wanting to experience as one of my Capricorn mountains. As if it wants as little outside influence as possible. Not that others won’t be involved, but that recognition that it’s also ok to go at it alone. Both/and.

I also have Mercury Rx in Sagittarius. An astrologer told me that she could see Mercury paddling back in my chart to the fire, since I already have so much Earth. Paddling back to the sign of the storyteller – and trine my Aries Moon. Although Saturn and Chiron square my Moon (exact to the degree!), Mercury paddled back to help out. Also wild to think about now, after my mom’s death. Her Sun was at 25 Aries with my Moon.

So thank you again for seeing me, my capacity, and my gifts.

[Christine MacSween]

Thank you, Daniel. I so appreciate you listening with multiple senses.

When I read Lorie’s response to Stephanie about metal I realized even more deeply what a gift my mom gave to me. She was that safe space where I did feel heard, just as me and not what I could offer her. She was a huge supporter of my art and creativity. Those layers of grief mixed in with the Prima Materia.

Thank you again 💜

[Christine MacSween]

Thank you Kelli!

The book I’m writing is a fantasy memoir and poetry book about my experience with the grief of my mom dying – before and after her death. This book wanted to come out of me first, but I have a fantasy novel series also based on this “grief land” that is percolating in the background.